Grace in Small Things: Days Twenty Five & Twenty Six

1. Apples.
2. Emerg.
3. Coffee quickies with Katie.
4. Tips.
5. Free pizza.
6. Blue skies.
7. The smell of vanilla.
8. Kinder Bueno.
9. Fresh bread.
10. A quiet house.

Grace in Small Things: Day Twenty Four

1. Peppermint tea.
2. Spaghetti and sauce.
3. Good conversation.
4. Solitude.
5. Naps.

Grace in Small Things: Days Twenty Two & Twenty Three

1. Work.
2. Etsy.
3. My teddy bear.
4. Going to the movies alone.
5. Night driving.
6. Loud music.
7. Pictures.
8. Rings.
9. Venice.
10. Flip Flops.

Grace in Small Things: Day Twenty One

1. My green stripey t-shirt.

I'm grateful for my awesome American Eagle green stripey t-shirt. It's comfy, it looks, good...and it comes in more colours (as soon as I get paid, my pretty).

2. A shrinking "To Do" list.

The first day I got home from England I wrote a "To Do" list, and it has been steadily shrinking. I'm grateful that I'll get everything done before I go back.

3. Wine in a box.

I'm grateful for cheap wine in a box, because after you've already drank over-proof rum, you don't care how bad it probably tastes.

4. Bananas.

I'm grateful for the tastiness of bananas.

5. Tying up loose ends.

I don't like leaving things undone or now knowing where something stands. I'm grateful for this month which has allowed me to tie up a lot of loose ends.

Grace in Small Things: Day Twenty

1. Whitney Houston.

Long story, but I'm grateful for Whitney Houston. Enough said.

2. All night talks.

I'm infinitely grateful for reconnecting with old friends, and talking til the sun comes up.

3. Serenity now.

Seinfeld makes everything ok. I'm grateful for the genius of serenity now.


4. The prayer of St. Francis.

I could do without the religious part, but I'm grateful for the prayer of St. Francis. Slightly edited version, below.

Make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;

Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned.

5. Red wine.

I'm grateful for finally being able to drink wine because lord is it ever helpful, haha.

Grace in Small Things: Day Nineteen

1. Lots of time spent with friends.

I'm grateful for being able to spend so much time with good friends lately. When you're as much of a loner as I am you tend to forget how nice to is to have people around; especially people you know won't judge you, no matter what you say or do, people who always have and always will be there.

2. Work at MOVEH.

I'm grateful for getting a week's worth of full time work at MOVEH in June. I miss emerg a lot and I miss all the amazing people there so I'm really happy to get to go back for a bit. The money will be nice too.

3. Insight.

Things are becoming clearer and clearer lately and I'm grateful for insight. Even the insight that leads me to a conclusion that I don't necessarily want to entertain. I know I'll get there eventually.

4. Resolutions.

A long, drawn out "event" is coming to its logical resolution right now and I'm incredibly grateful for that.

5. Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.

I'm grateful for the genius that is peanut butter and chocolate. Oh Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, what would I do without you?

Grace in Small Things: Day Eighteen

1. The metaphorical stars aligning.

Lately everything is going exactly as I want it to, not that I'm shocked, but it's still nice. I'm grateful for the stars lining up just right and for the fact that they'll keep doing that. (See that, that was called positive affirmation, it works.)

2. The smell of new flowers.

I don't often stop to smell the flowers--literally. But this time of year the entire world is exploding with colour and I don't know how I've never noticed how beautiful it is before. I'm grateful for the flowers; for the smell of the wild ones most of all.

3. A book and the sun.

I'm grateful for sitting in the backyard on a lawn chair with a pair of sunglasses, a glass of water, a book, and the sun.

4. Barack Obama.

I'm grateful the world has someone like Barack Obama for President of the United States. Everything this guy says and does amazes me right now. In a world where politician and good person seem to be antithetical to each other, he's a breath of fresh air. Granted, he's also very charismatic and undoubtedly a master of media spin, but I choose to believe that he's also who he says he is.

5. Going home.

I'm thankful that I've developed the ability to find home where ever I am, but I'm grateful that in less than 50 days I'm going home, for real.

Grace in Small Things: Days Twelve - Seventeen

1. Passing my G Test
2. Having an Awesome Boss
3. Work That I Can Do While Traveling
4. The Beautiful Weather
5. Weekends Away
6. Family
7. Kraft Dinner White Cheddar
8. Reading
9. Compliments on My Writing
10. Finding Homes for Kittens
11. Music
12. Acro Performances
13. The Ottawa River
14. Lake Ontario
15. My Brothers
16. Being Zen
17. Will is Coming Home
18. Movies With Mom
19. My Hair Being Long Again
20. Blogs
21. Symbols
22. Picnics
23. Swimming Outside
24. Mercury Retrograde
25. Moonlight Sonata
26. Yoga
27. Photography
28. The Forest
29. Bluebells
30. Dandelions that Smell Like the Sun

Grace in Small Things: Day Eleven

1. Clearing the air.

There is something very satisfying about having what you need to say said, and having everyone know where everyone else stands. As difficult as it may be to say things you don't necessarily enjoy saying and other people don't necessarily enjoy hearing, I'm grateful for clearing the air.

2. Swings by the lake.

I'm grateful for swings that are probably older than me beside a lake that has been here since god knows when. I'm grateful for a beautiful spring day, and clear skies over sea-blue water. I'm also grateful that it wasn't windy because you couldn't smell how polluted it all is; I'm not so grateful for the bugs though.

3. Trips planned on a moment's notice.

I live for spontaneous trips, and I'm grateful for this weekend's trip Ottawa to see family and friend, planned on less than a week's notice and very needed right now.

4. Toast with margarine.

I'm grateful for the awesomeness that is toast with margarine. Especially toast made from white bread, since I never eat it anymore.

5. Job interviews.

I'm grateful for potential job interviews next week and for the stability and freedom that will bring.

100 Things

It's a blogland tradition that you mark your 100th post by writing a list of 100 things about yourself. So, since I wouldn't want to disappoint the masses, here we go:

1 I have 3 or 4 middle names. Yep, 3 or 4.
2 My favourite colour is usually purple.
3 My favourite food is Chinese.
4 I also really like Mexican and since being in England, Indian.
5 But I eat pasta almost every day.
6 I grew up in the '90s boy-band era. I call those the lost years.
7 I've never felt like Amber is actually my name. I'll answer to it, but it sounds so foreign to me.
8 I have two younger brothers and no sisters.
9 I've really only had two proper relationships in my life. One was in 10th grade and lasted less than six weeks, the other almost six years.
10 I strongly dislike labels and I don't understand this constant need to define oneself.
11 I also strongly dislike when people try to make me "normal"; whatever that is.
12 I'm intensely private. (And yet I blog publicly with my real name...I know.)
13 I love Lord of the Rings (yes, the movies too).
14 If I have kids I'll likely end up giving them crazy hippy names like River or Lyric or something like that. You can start feeling sorry for them now.
15 Generally speaking, I really hate talking on the phone.
16 I pretty much know the movie "Ever After" completely by heart.
17 I love words.
18 I also love music but I probably couldn't name five bands I really like if you asked me to.
19 I grew up in Southern Ontario.
20 I cannot stand Southern Ontario.
21 I mostly hate the weather. A potential for an 80 degree differential is not my idea of fun.
22 I'm a licensed SCUBA diver.
23 If I could be a mermaid or a vampire (or a mermaid-vampire) I would.
24 My hair has been every shade of brown under the sun, brown with red tips, purple, blue-black, orange, and red.
25 I have 8 piercings. 7 in my ears and my belly button.
26 The first time I traveled alone I went to Australia for a summer.
27 My motto in life is "go big or go home".
28 I have a combined honours degree.
29 I want dreads.
30 I don't eat meat as a rule, but I love me some McDonald's.
31 I have a misplaced sense of justice that permeates my entire life--it tends to cause me more drama than anything else.
32 I'm a Shakespeare nerd.
33 I'm obsessed with self-sufficiency and sustainable living.
34 I'm also obsessed with traveling.
35 I may come off totally together and driven, but it's all a big ruse.
36 In the years since his death my Grandfather has become my hero.
37 I want a library like his one day; I'm getting there.
38 I'm the absolute worst for procrastinating.
39 But I do my best work under pressure, by far.
40 I believe good books can heal your soul.
41 I've always rebelled against the idea of being an artsy-creative type. Being an intellectual type is far easier.
42 I haven't had a TV in many years.
43 I have a soft spot for absolutely horrible commercial pop.
44 If I can get over the whole cancer causing toxins thing I'll probably cover myself in tattoos of other people's words.
45 I love photography.
46 I also love clothes.
47 And jewelry made out of beads.
48 I went to an all girls high school and the choice to go there was by far the best choice I've ever made in my entire life.
49 I love to sing. No one really knows that. I can sing along pretty well, but on my own I'm completely tone deaf. Not pretty.
50 I've known my oldest friend for almost 13 years.
51 I once "dated" someone who is 12 years older than me. Was...interesting.
52 I adore the city of Montreal.
53 I really like blue.
54 I'm a massive animal lover.
55 I don't stay away from drugs and smoking and drinking a lot because I'm a goody two shoes, like everyone thinks. I really do it because I have a very addictive personality and I can't be sure I wouldn't take it too far.
56 You probably don't need to know this but I haven't owned a pair of proper underwear in almost ten years--most uncomfortable things on the planet.
57 At the school I went to from JK to grade 4 I was always the token white kid. I never hung out with my white friends because they were all filthy rich and I couldn't stand how they acted half the time. I had more fun learning how to count in Hindi anyway.
58 I'm in love with the piano.
59 I have hyperhydrosis and I do not like it.
60 I also have hyperacidity.
61 I like being pale.
62 I have a scar beside my belly button from the chicken pox.
63 I cannot stand it when my eyebrows aren't done, but I can't be bothered to do them 90% of the time.
64 When I was a kid some of the girls at school used to call me "Amberexic" because I was always really tiny. A few years later those same girls would ask "how can we be so skinny like you?" On the one hand I call this cosmic justice. On the other it just makes me really sad. I'm not usually the littlest girl in the room any more and that makes me really happy. I always hated the attention.
65 I've always got along better with guys.
66 Until a few months ago I couldn't even swallow beer or wine, now I can but I don't particularly like them.
67 I love beach volleyball.
68 I also love windsurfing, but it's been over ten years since I've done it.
69 Ditto for horseback riding.
70 I could easily lie in the grass picking dandelions and bluebells all day.
71 I love climbing trees.
72 When I decide I like a song I'll listen to it on repeat for hours.
73 When I stop psyching myself out I'm actually pretty half decent at math.
74 I find biology really fascinating, not just in the academic sense.
75 A piece of my heart will always been in veterinary emergency medicine.
76 When I love I'm not afraid to love really big and that often gets me into trouble.
77 I live with my heart on my sleeve and I wouldn't have it any other way.
78 I try not to let fear stop me from doing anything.
79 Authenticity is incredibly important to me, whatever that means.
80 My ex is my best friend and I'm really proud that we've been able to make that happen.
81 I tend to be really terrible at keeping in touch with people.
82 I'm a massive loner the large majority of the time.
83 I'm blunt to a fault.
84 I'm also stubborn to a fault.
85 I cannot stand Facebook but I've been dragged into it and I don't like it half the time but I'm too attached to get rid of it now.
86 I'm very nomadic by nature but I really value having a place that's mine.
87 I found pieces of myself in New Orleans and I can't wait to get back there one day.
88 I love driving, especially through the country in the summer with the windows down and the music loud.
89 Jack and Coke is my drink.
90 I love to dance and will do it any chance I get.
91 I also love live music, doesn't really matter what kind.
92 Mint chocolate is my favourite.
93 Consequently, mint chocolate gelato is the greatest thing in the world.
94 There is nothing I hate more than a friend being not okay and not being able to do anything to help.
95 I hate to feel helpless in general.
96 I really wish my four front teeth were all the same length, maybe one day I'll have some money to burn and I'll "fix" them.
97 95% of my family has the same eyes. We got them from my Grandmother, I'm not sure where she got them from.
98 "The Long Way Around" by the Dixie Chicks is my song.
99 I have a really bad habit of being determined to attain the seemingly unattainable. The reason that it's bad is because when I do eventually get my way it's never as good as I thought it was going to be.
100 Last year I went to England for 8 months and found home.

For My Brother on His 20th Birthday

Dear Cody,

You're twenty today, apparently. I don't quite believe it's possible. I remember when you were born and I was supposed to bring you balloons at the hospital, but I didn't want to because I hadn't really decided if I liked you yet so I let them go out the sun roof of the car instead. And then when you were about 18 months or maybe 2 I pulled a chair out from under you before you sat down and you landed flat on your butt and you cried and I laughed and Mom said one day you'd be bigger than me and you'd get me back, and I said that wasn't going to happen. Well, you've been bigger than me for going on ten years but you've yet to get me back. I'm wondering what you're planning...

Cody, I am immensely proud of you. Of who you are and of your complete lack of fear in making your own path. I used to worry about you, but I don't anymore. I know you'll find your way; probably a lot faster than I will. You are without question one of the smartest, most multi-talented people I know, and I'm constantly floored by how easy everything comes to you.

I never thought my little brother would be reading Danté or composing music or turning out even better written words than I do. That was my thing, okay, writing was my thing and you stole it, you little bastard. Don't think I'm not mad about that.

Please remember that even when you're in the mountains in Canada and I'm in the countryside in England that I will always be there for you. You are my brother and I am your sister and we will conquer the world together, just like we used to slay dragons and beat Master Shredder and pull the acorns down off the trees.

I will always be your ghost man on second.

Happy birthday, little brother.

Love,
Amber

Grace in Small Things: Day Ten

1. Spring breezes.

Yesterday I went on an impromptu walk by the lake and there was the most beautiful spring breeze blowing through the air. I'm grateful for the small break in the humidity and for the smell of flowers in the wind and for pretending that the lake water is really salt spray.

2. Songs on repeat.

I'm grateful for awesome songs on repeat for hours a day and for the fact that there isn't anyone else home to tell me to play something different.

3. Money from unexpected sources (times two!).

I'm grateful for perhaps not being as financially screwed today as (I thought) I was yesterday. Also, thank you government people for the break on the OSAP for the next few months.

4. A new day.

Maybe it's figurative, but I'm grateful for the fact that every day is a new day and that every new day is limitless.

5. Piano and violin solos.

I'm grateful for melancholic piano and violin solos. I don't know why I'm so into this tragic beauty thing lately, but I could listen to piano and violin solos all day.

Grace in Small Things: Day Nine

1. My ladies.

I'm grateful, so infinitely grateful, for my ladies. You girls are my rocks, my sisters, my best friends and I would not be the same without you in my life. We've laughed together and cried together and pulled each other out of some bad places expecting nothing in return, but instead getting everything. So I'm grateful for my girls, you know who you are. No matter how much time passes without seeing you, I know you'll always be around. You're all wonderful and beautiful and shining lights and I'm better for knowing you.

2. Music played by friends.

I've somehow befriended about five million musicians in the last six months. Lucky me, I know. I'm grateful for music played by friends, and I'm grateful for them putting up with my three word answers when they ask me why I like something. The answer is, invariably, 'I just do." What they don't understand is, "I just do" means, "I just do because you did it."

3. Life outside the lines.

I'm grateful for not being afraid to colour outside the figurative lines. Life's a lot more interesting when you live on the other side of the box, so go ahead and make a mess--I dare you.

4. Eating chocolate icing out of the tub.

I'm grateful for eating chocolate icing out of the tub, and no other explanation is needed.

5. Sarcasm.

It might seem antithetical to an exercise like this, but I'm grateful for my sarcasm. I do love it so. I'm also grateful for the recent realization that, love it or not, sarcasm isn't always the best way.

Grace in Small Things: Day Eight

1. Trust

I'm grateful for being able to trust that things work out for the best, always, no matter what. I'm grateful to know that what is needed will be provided and what is wanted is always attainable.

2. My Books

Very few things make me happier than seeing my stacks of books. Maybe it makes me a massive nerd, but I love them. I'm grateful that I have my books, even if they're currently in boxes in Montreal, and I'm grateful that I'll eventually have them in England with me.

3. Community

There is something to be said for a sense of community. I'm grateful that after so much travel, and so much more to do, that I've finally developed the ability to feel at home anywhere I go. I'm grateful for the family of friends I have all over the world, and for a real sense of community.

4. Simplicity

I'm grateful for being able to see the lowest common denominator and for simplicity in all things, because it really is never as complicated as we want to think it is.

5. Post Secret

I'm grateful for Post Secret and for all the good that it does. This week, I'm grateful for this secret in particular:

Grace in Small Things: Day Seven

1. Practicing silence.

I guess the biggest lesson I've learned lately is that when you want to say something potentially dubious you should close your mouth, walk away for five minutes, and then come back and if at that point you still want to say it, then say it. I'm grateful for beginning to learn how to practice silence, even though I'm definitely not great at it yet. Similarly, I'm grateful for the big lesson of two years ago: if you want to write a letter when you're mad that's fine, but whatever you do, don't send it. Instead, it's a lot more valuable, and it will get you a lot further, to practice silence.

2. Old, comfy jeans.

I'm grateful for my old, comfy jeans that fit perfectly and are worn in just right. No matter what happens during the day, if I can come home and put on my old, comfy jeans then all is right in the world.

3. Searching for the lesson.

There is a lesson in everything, if we only stop moving long enough to see it. I'm grateful for a mindset to search for the lessons, and I'm grateful for the sense to know enough to attempt to take them at face value...even though half the time I do not like them.

4. Black, inky pens.

I'm grateful for discovering the most awesome black, inky pens in grade twelve, and I'm grateful for finding almost the exact same ones in England too. My black, inky pens write awesome(ly?), and I love them.

5. A direction.

After a year of "I don't knows" it's really nice to finally have a direction. A physical place to be going toward, and a mental place to be going toward, and am emotional place to be going toward. I'm grateful for finally knowing where I'm going and what I'm doing, and for having a direction.

Grace in Small Things: Day Six

1. Walks in the park.

The apartment in Montreal is next to a massive park that is always full of people reading and walking around and jogging and doing yoga and playing with their kids and their dogs. In the middle of the park there is a huge artificial pond that usually has some ducks swimming in it. I'm grateful for having such a beautiful place to walk (and sometimes run) just two minutes away.

2. Summer dresses.

I'm grateful for all the awesome summer dresses I recently acquired because not only are they functional, but they were also cheap and are super cute too.

3. Love, in all its forms.

I'm grateful for the capacity to love and be loved and for love to exist in the world, in whatever form it happens to take on at that point in time. I'm grateful for the choice to feel love instead of hate or jealousy or spite.

4. My cats.

I'm grateful for the time with my cats, having not seen them in eight and a half months and not lived with them in over two years I'm happy to be able to see them all day, everyday for as long as I'm here.

5. Letters to and from friends.

Lately I've taken to writing to certain friends and every once and a while I get lucky and they write back. I'm grateful for the ability to express myself in written words and have it be understood, and I'm grateful that my friends take the time to write back to me.

Grace in Small Things: Day Five

1. Acting instead of reacting.

I'm grateful for this relatively new-found ability to act instead of react (at least most of the time). It sure makes life a hell of a lot easier.

2. Jack and Coke.

Thank you to Mr. Jack Daniel for creating the greatest whiskey of all time. I'm grateful to have discovered it and to have suffered through the month or so that it tasted like varnish, because is it ever wonderful now. I'm also grateful JD tastes so good with Coke...even though Coke is evil.

3. New beginnings.

I'm grateful for the ability to start again, in many different ways, just a little bit smarter and a little bit wiser and a little bit crazier than I was before.

4. Canadian money.

I'm grateful to the Canadian Mint for creating money that doesn't weigh a tonne. After eight months of British money, it's really great to not have to wear a belt because the change in your pockets is literally pulling your pants off.

5. Rockstar sunglasses.

My newest love in life is huge sunglasses, and I'm grateful that lots of tween girls want to copy the celebrities that wear them because now I can get them for really cheap.

Grace in Small Things: Day Four

1. Humility.

I'm grateful for the art of knowing when to back off and get out of the way. I'm also grateful that after 23 years and a lot of mistakes I've finally learned this one.

2. Patience.

I'm grateful for patience, as forced as it sometimes is, because the things that make you wait for them are often the best things, and the most useful lessons in life tend to arise from patience.

3. My desk by the window.

I get to spend the day looking out at a tree hanging over a quiet street, watching the squirrels do gymnastics on the telephone wires. I'm grateful for the sunlight that constantly streams down on my keyboard, and the sound of the people walking by.

4. The city at night.

I love cities at night; the way they become shells of their daylight selves. There is something tragically beautiful about a big city bathed in darkness, any big city will do. I'm grateful for 2am meanderings alone down Lakeshore, for past-midnight romps through London with friends, and for the lights bouncing off the river in Montreal.

5. Long, hot showers.

I'm grateful for being enveloped in heat, and for not being able to see the walls for the steam. I'm grateful for water mixed with tears mixed with beads of sweat and the rebirth of stepping out unscathed and a whole lot stronger.

Grace in Small Things: Day Three

1. Having the sense to sleep instead of drink.

I'm grateful for being smart enough to go to bed instead of going out, and that's enough said about that one.

2. Other people's words.

I love words; if I could bottle them up and keep them forever I would. I've always said that my life is punctuated by other people's words and it's true, I could probably think of a quote for everything. I'm grateful for other people's lyrics and poetry and novels and to the musicians and poets and authors for letting me indulge in escapism.

3. My own words.

I'm grateful for that thing that could become a novel that I started 3/4 of a year ago, and I'm grateful for the desire to pick it up again after so long. (Even if a piece of it is sitting in a notebook 4000 miles away. Note to self, don't forget to get that back.) I'm also grateful to have this blog as an outlet for all the things that are jumbled up, clawing at the surface of my brain, trying to get out.

4. The ability to speak truth even when it hurts.

I'm blunt to a fault and I speak my mind and those aren't always good things, but I'm grateful for the ability to speak my own truth without getting too lost in the vastness of it. I'm also grateful that I have friends who know that they can do the same with me, even when it isn't nice.

5. Going barefoot.

It's finally warm enough to be barefoot in the house without freezing and wear flip flops outside at night. I can't stand having my feet covered so I'm grateful that the barefoot weather is here to stay, at least for a little while.

Grace in Small Things: Day Two

1. Mint Chocolate Baileys with hot chocolate and marshmallows.

This is the greatest drink of all time, it can probably cure cancer, no lie. I'm grateful for discovering the wonder that is Baileys and hot chocolate and I am even more grateful to Baileys for inventing this mint chocolate version. If Heaven exists then this is what I imagine the waterfalls are made of.

2. A house full of things that work.

When I want to wash or dry my clothes the washer and dryer work. When I want to get something out of the fridge, it's cold. The computers work and the Internet works and the printer works and all of the doors open and close properly. You probably don't realize why exactly this is so important to me, but I'm really grateful for stuff that works.

3. Having the time.

It's one of those things that those of us who live our lives in privileged positions don't often recognize. I'm grateful for having the time, the literal time, to process life at my own speed and take an entire day out to do nothing but wallow in self-pity if that's what I really want to do. I'm grateful to have the time to be able to hold that space and honour that process...as long as it doesn't take too long.

4. A warm, cozy bed.

I love blankets and pillows and will happily sleep with the window open in the middle of winter for no other reason than to have an excuse to use more of them at once. I'm grateful for the awesome bed I get to sleep in for the next few weeks.

5. The Atlantic.

Thank you, Universe, for the Atlantic Ocean. No, really. I know I've been saying "stupid ocean" a lot lately, but now I think I'm grateful for that huge expanse of water; it's stopping me from being silly and keeping me smart instead. Thank you, Atlantic Ocean, for being in my way.

Grace in Small Things: Day One

There's a bit of a meme type thing going around the blogosphere; it has been for quite some time, it's called Grace in Small Things. What you have to do is post about five small things each day that cause you to feel gratitude. So, to break up almost thirty days of radio silence from me, here are thirty days of grace.

1. The maturity to keep perspective.

I've had a bit of a time this past little while (hence the dead air on the old blog) and, for the most part anyway, have been able to maintain some pretty decent perspective. I'm grateful for the lessons of the past two years that have taught me about perspective. All of a sudden something that happened quite some time ago, that I could never really understand, is starting to make sense, and where before I would have said that I didn't regret it but I could take it or leave it, now I say that I'm glad to have come out the other side. Perspective is refreshing.

2. New friends.

Don't get me wrong, I have some pretty incredible old friends, HNM ladies, I'm looking at you. But with all the recent travel and constant uprooting I'm grateful for my new friends who have basically treated me like I've always been there, Guildford people, I'm looking at you. Thanks guys, for being so awesome, and I do mean all of you.

3. Health, both mental and physical.

It's probably cliche to be grateful for health, but because it's so cliche I think people tend to forget about it. I'm grateful that I'm healthy enough that I can put on my sweats and go for a run in the park even though I haven't trained properly in almost ten years. I'm grateful that my body will tolerate that, and I'm grateful that I still have some semblance of my old flexibility. I'm grateful that things that would have mentally flattened me even just a few years ago don't have the capacity to do that anymore. I'm grateful to finally have a stable sense of self.

4. Opportunity.

It's daunting to basically be able to do anything you want, but instead of focusing on how big it all is, instead I'm grateful for opportunity and the ability to make my own way.

5. A place to go.

It's a very reassuring thing, knowing that no matter what happens or who happens you always have a place to go where no questions will be asked and the door is always open. I'm grateful to know that no matter what happens to us, I always have a place to go.